Mother who suffer from this mentality, are mostly oblivious to the fact they are doing this. When attempting intervention they become defensive and are often in denial. The problem with these individuals is that their desire to be loved by a man outweighs their needs and responsibilities and their children are their responsibility. They not only hurt the children but they hurt themselves as well. When they find a man of interest their main focus is," what can I do for him to keep him?" so if they're thinking like this the children are naturally going to be last priority. This is act selfishness as a mother. This mentality breaks up a home, cause many family conflicts, and in some cases it puts the children at risk of danger if the women don't know what type of man they are dealing with. What these women these women need to ask them self are; "if I was in my children's shoes, what kind of man would I want my mother to be with?"
I have written in article called, "How to determine whether a relationship is right for you", on articlebase.com and created a least of things to consider before pursuing a relationship. A lot of women think more about having a man than having a relationship. The most import thing these women need to realize is that your children is a very important part of your relationship and no matter how much to try to separate the two. When choosing a mate, while having children you need to discuss how important your children are you and if the man can't accept you either let them go or pursue you relationship with him outside the household.
If you and your potential mate discussed children, in agreement; my motto is, "action speaks louder than words" take time and do things with the children together, see if how he interacts with the children. For single mothers who are raising teens I suggest, (especially if you are raising girls), you put your needs and desires to side at least till your children leave the house or go to college and see your date outside of the home. Raising children alone is hard in itself, so if your household is in harmony and children are comfortable don't complicate things by bringing a stranger in the house. If the man is mature and he really loves you he will understand.
I, myself experienced the same situation with my mother growing up and I am thankful because I learned what not to do when raising my child. This is repeated behavior with a lot of women. What I always say is that if they knew better they would do better. That is why I write articles like this. They tend go from mate -to-mate with this same mentality. The sad part is that their children grow up before their eyes and the men come and go. Their children as adults resent them and are unforgiving at a time when they need their children the most. So for the mothers who are neglecting their children's emotional and psychical need for these men, this is something to really think about.
Copyright© 2012 by BlackSwan