As a parent, you’ve probably noticed the avalanche of parenting guides and books out there. You’ve probably even read many of them. All of these books have one thing in common; they discuss the techniques of parenting. That is, the mechanical steps on your end to get your children to behave. But like most parents, when you try and implement these techniques, your children still do not respond.
That’s because you are missing the one fundamental key to parenting, consistency. In short, consistency will determine if you’re parenting techniques will work or fall on deaf ears. Many parenting tell me after a couple weeks, they are still not getting the results they want. But consistency takes time, certainly more than a week. Rest assured if you are consistent, eventually parenting will become a lot easier.
That’s because children continuously try and make you inconsistent. “But mom said I could go out”, “But I did my homework, why can’t I go out tonight”. All of these common excuses are technique’s your children use to try and manipulate you. But if you realize that these are only tactics to get what they want, you can keep yourself from falling into the trap.
The second important step to dealing with misbehaving children is to realize that the mechanics of parenting do not always work. In most cases parents are surprised to realize that the mechanics of good parenting is actually a small factor in how your children will respond to you. What’s the most important step? Your emotional reaction to their misbehavior.
Children don’t misbehave because they enjoy it. They misbehave to get back at you. So when you get angry at their behavior, guess what, they just won! Your reaction is the most important tool in dealing with misbehaving children and the sooner you can take control of it the better.
But sometimes children know exactly which button to push and controlling your anger can be difficult (to say the least). But all you have to do is realize that it exactly the reaction they are looking for, so don’t give in!
Hopefully these two steps to dealing with misbehaving children can shed some insight into why your children misbehave and what you can do about it. For more information on good parenting, follow the link below.