Children, having the mind of their own, can sometimes be difficult to understand the sway of their moods. They can be obstinate at times and refuse to do what you requested. But other times, they may change totally and become receptive to do as you said. Either way, they are still your children and you love them as they are. But raising kids isn't something easy; you will, from time to time, come to face with children problems and one of these is to deal with the relationship between you and your children.
So what should you do? Shouting and yelling at your kids will not solve the problems. In fact, it has never been proven to solve relationship problems. There is nothing better than to have good communication with children. There are many tips on how you can effectively communicate with your children, but I will be sharing with you here about what you should be saying to or asking from your children to effectively solve the problems.
1. "I love you very much but your behavior is unacceptable."
Make sure you let them know that what you don't like is the deeds done and not the person who did them. Making them understand is important because if they cannot see the difference, they might think that you are punishing them and do not love them anymore. Explain why the deeds done are unacceptable and ensure your love for them has never change. With better understanding, you children will realize what should be done and what should not be done.
2. "Can you make up your mind?"
Asking them to make up their mind makes them realized that they are responsible for their actions. Before making up their mind, your children will think twice. Every action committed will bring about a consequence. This is the principle of cause and effect that they will come to realize. And when they realize that they are responsible for every action done, they will be more careful of their actions.
3. "Do you really mean by what you've said?"
Kids may say something that they didn't mean when they are crossed and nervous. Don't get upset when you hear them saying things like "I hate you!" or "I don't like home!" Instead of getting angry, calm your kids down and ask what they really meant by that. The question makes them think of what they have just said was out of nervousness and rage and thus calm them down.
4. "Can you help me to solve this problem?"
You can ask for help from your little one to solve some children problems. When their help is needed, the problem seems to be from you. Hence, when they think they are getting involved, they will want to help you with the problem.
5. "People have different needs because they are different."
There are indeed things that can be done by adults but not children. Gone are the days when parents said to their kids, "Do as I said and not as I do!" Your children may just utter something which you would have heard a thousand times, "This is not fair!" Instead of leaving the issue as it is, explain to them that people have different needs because they are different and not because of unfair treatment.
Children problems do arise when raising kids. Parenthood can be challenging but when your communication with children is good, parenthood is an enjoyable route to raising kids. As parents, you should be the one who can understand your children in and out. But when they are in their obstinate mood again and refused to do what you requested, try the above tips to solve your problems.